”Bugger” was not quite the word that I uttered as my front tendon was cut by a glass in an accidental fall and I’m sure I would have said more than that if I knew at that moment what a cut like this to my leg actually meant. That’s when you start thinking about how you would be feeling if it was actually a hell of a lot worse!
The last six weeks I have been disabled – not permanently – although, at times, with my impatience at my level of helplessness, loss of control, dependence and confinement you’d think that I was going to be limping around for ever. This experience has given me an insight (although brief) into the emotions and thoughts that occur to the mind and spirit when our physical constraints affect our ability to independently perform tasks of daily life. They even more profoundly affect and dictate our leisure opportunities – a light bulb moment really. I had plans for the last 6 weeks, travelling to workshops, Easter with friends, working at the Blues Festival in Byron Bay and meeting my new man’s family in Queensland. How life can change so quickly when you realise that none of those things are going to be possible right now and your usual source of income and exercise (teaching Yoga) was going to have to stop dead for however long it takes!
12 weeks for it to heal properly they are saying. I am hoping for a quicker recovery. People have been fabulous, calls and visits, special trips out with friends and family when possible, sisters coming to the rescue when I couldn’t stand the “mess” anymore, (my three sons have stepped up to the mark really well- better than I thought they would, but it isn’t the same). I’ve even had date nights doing the shopping or going to the chemist in a wheelchair! Conversations with other people that have suffered the same type of thing are insightful and you realise that you are not the only one.I have learnt a lot about myself through this experience and been given a very small lesson in what other people may be experiencing when they are served a set of circumstances that affects their every waking thought. People like those that we, as Diversional Therapist, Leisure Consultants and Recreation Officers help each day. I am still in the midst of having to be stiller than I’d like to be and I try to imagine what it would be like, having to be still forever.
I have a good prognosis and expect to be back to full yoga poses in three months. Yes things have had to be let go, plans changed, even DTA workshops have been postponed while I’m working at getting myself back on my two feet but I am lucky in so many ways and grateful for this time to be able to think without doing and give my body time to heal. I don’t know what other’s reaction may be in these circumstances however until I went through this situation where my normal expectations of what I want to do and what I can do are conflicted I don’t think I had the empathy with those I worked with or indeed the people I taught Yoga too.
So I’d like to raise a (plastic) glass to all those people who keep a sense of positivity in the light of such circumstances, I am profoundly inspired (more than before) by the sense of joy for life that I’ve seen in their eyes when they are able to achieve the things they value in their days and I respect completely their need and want to maintain their control and any independence they are able to achieve.So on that note I’d like to leave you with this quote that got me thinking this month: “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore”- Andre Gide
‘Til next time,
Stephania